If you’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD, you might be surprised to learn that emotional dysregulation is a common—but often misunderstood—part of the condition. It’s not just about focus or restlessness. For many adults, it’s the sudden outbursts, the intense frustration, the tears that come too fast, or the deep emotional crashes that linger longer than expected.
This isn’t weakness or immaturity. It’s how your nervous system responds when emotions hit harder and fade slower. You may feel things more deeply, respond more quickly, and find it harder to return to calm.
The good news? With awareness, tools, and support, it is possible to manage emotional intensity and build more emotional resilience. Like all ADHD traits, your emotional style isn’t a flaw—it’s a difference. One that, with the right guidance, can be understood and navigated.
Understanding Emotional Dysregulation in ADHD
What it feels like: Sudden anger, sadness, shame, or overwhelm; trouble calming down once upset; difficulty “letting go” of small setbacks; feeling emotions very intensely.
Why it happens: Differences in the ADHD brain affect emotional control networks—especially the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. This can reduce the “pause button” that others rely on to process emotion before reacting.
You’re not alone: This is common in adults with ADHD—even if it wasn’t recognised in childhood.
Practical Strategies for Coping with Emotional Dysregulation
1. Name the Feeling
Labeling an emotion can reduce its intensity.
Try:
Say it out loud or write it down: “I’m feeling overwhelmed” or “This is frustration.”
It helps separate you from the feeling—“This is a wave, not who I am.”
2. Use the ‘Pause and Plan’ Technique
Even a short pause can help regulate the emotional response.
Try:
When triggered, say: “Pause. Breathe. Then respond.”
Use a grounding phrase: “This is hard, but I can handle it.”
3. Externalise Big Emotions
Let them out—safely.
Try:
Journal, voice-note yourself, or talk to a trusted person.
Physical activity helps discharge emotional energy—walk, stretch, shake it off.
4. Revisit the Moment Later
Reflection builds emotional insight.
Try:
Later in the day, ask: “What was underneath that reaction?”
Track triggers over time—certain environments, people, or times of day.
5. Create a Calming Toolkit
Have a go-to list when emotions rise.
Try:
List calming tools: deep breaths, music, weighted blanket, going outside, a mantra.
Keep it accessible—on your phone, fridge, or desk.
6. Plan for Vulnerable Times
Emotions tend to spiral when you’re tired, hungry, or over-stimulated.
Emotions often peak and fade in 90 seconds—if we don’t fuel them with thought.
Try:
Breathe through the wave. Focus on the body, not the story.
Say: “I can ride this wave. It will pass.”
8. Practice Self-Kindness
Shame often follows big emotions—but it doesn’t need to.
Try:
Speak to yourself like a close friend would: “It’s okay. I’m learning.”
Every tough moment is a chance to practice, not a failure.
You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone
At HealthHero, we understand that emotional dysregulation is more than just “moodiness.” It can affect relationships, self-esteem, and daily life. Our ADHD-informed counsellors and therapists are here to help you unpack emotional triggers, build emotional regulation strategies, and create space between stimulus and response.
Together, we can explore ways to honour your emotional depth while building tools to feel more in control.
